Cocktails and Comedy - Saturday 30th May 2020

Ingredients

• 1 lime, cut into 8 wedges
• 5g mint
• 2 tsp sugar
• 3 blood oranges, juiced (you need around 200ml / 1/3pt juice)
• dash sparkling water

The ingredients for this cocktail caused a little confusion amongst the editorial team at WWM Headquarters. After consulation, we can confirm that it is ok to add 50ml of vodka and 50ml of Bacardi to the ingredients, if that should be your wish!

Method

1.Put the lime wedges into the base of 2 glasses. Add a few mint leaves (reserving the remaining sprigs to garnish) and 1 tsp sugar to each glass. Muddle together with a cocktail muddler if you have one or the end of a rolling pin.

2.Add crushed ice to each glass, then pour over the orange juice and give a good stir to ensure the sugar dissolves.

3.Top with a little sparkling water and garnish with the reserved mint sprigs. Serve immediately.

There was a painter by the name of Jock, who was very interested in making a penny where he could, so he often would thin his paint to make it go further.

As it happened, he got away with this for some time, but eventually the Church decided to do a big restoration job that involved the painting of one of its biggest churches. Jock put in a bid, and because his price was so low, he got the job.

He went about erecting the trestles and setting up the planks, and buying the paint and, yes, thinning it down. Jock was up on the scaffolding, painting away with the job nearly completed, when suddenly there was a horrendous clap of thunder, and the sky opened.

The torrential rain washed the thinned paint off the church and knocked Jock off the scaffold and on to the lawn, among the gravestones, surrounded by tell-tale puddles of the thinned and useless paint.

Jock was no fool. He knew this was a judgment from the Almighty, so he got on his knees and cried: "Oh, God! Forgive me! What should I do?"

And from the thunder, a mighty voice spoke...

Repaint! Repaint!
And thin no more!

The new WM saw two brothers guarding a bench. He asked the reason: "We don't know, the last WM told us to, it's a lodge tradition."

The WM searched for the phone number of the last Master. He called him and got the reply: "I don't know. The previous Master had the guards. I kept the tradition."

He went back another few WMs getting the same reply, and finally he located an 80 year old retired Past Master.

"Excuse me, W.Brother I'm now the WM of the lodge you presided over 50 years ago. I find two men assigned to guard a bench. Could you please tell me what is special about the bench?"

The Past Master replied: "What? Is the paint still wet?”

And that Brethren, is how lodge traditions get started.